It's Here-Yay!

I am like a kid in a candy store when it comes to getting in new bible study curriculum. I love seeing a brand new workbook, full of empty pages. The reason I love it so much is that I know, through the 10 weeks of homework I will take on when doing a Beth Moore study, will be 10 weeks of the Lord teaching me something new about Him and his Word. It makes me tear up just thinking about it. There are so many studies I have done, that I can recall exactly what I was going through at the time just by remembering what study I did. I also love meeting new girls who are also have a passion for knowing our Savior more intimately. The excitement is always contagious too. Once you do a Beth study, you have to do another and another.

Bible studies get me going! So what gets you going and pumped about life and living? It doesn't have to be a spiritual thing either. I'm just curious as to what makes you feel like a kid in a candy store.

It Starts With a Plan

I am the kind of person if I don't have a plan or goal, I will pretty much run around aimlessly for quite some time and feel completely useless and unmotivated. That was pretty much my summer this year. It wasn't that it was a bad summer, I just didn't get much accomplished. Why? I had no plan.

Since school is back in session (Hallelujah praises!) I now have somewhat of a plan for myself. I'm still not quite in a routine, but I am moving forward in a couple of areas. For one, I am devoting the next several months to getting healthier. I am on day 11 of exercising (most days, not all) and eating about 75% fruit and veggies. It hasn't been great results, but the true observer (my husband Skip) can tell a difference. I have to remember that it took many years to put on the extra 35 lbs lingering on my hips and waistline, so it will probably take many months to remove them.

My second goal I am working on is letting go of things I cannot change. This is probably the hardest area for the middle child in me. I always want peace and I always want situations around me to work out. For some reason or another, I often find myself on the receiving line of people's problems. I take it as an honor that people confide in me, but when so many are hurting and wanting to share, I get very overwhelmed. When the problems turn into crisis, I really take it personal. I often think things like, "Am I really making a difference?" "Maybe I'm not qualified to counsel?" "If someone chooses to follow a different solution that God's Word, it is somehow a reflection of me." I know these are all lies that satan wants me to believe, but I tend to agree most of the time.

God really spoke to me at a recent Beth Moore simulcast when she said, "People are going to do what they want." That simple 8 word sentence stopped me in my tracks. I do not have control! Wow, how freeing is that! I'm not sure why I needed Beth Moore to tell me that, but it helped. I can pray for my family and friends, I can point them to scripture and the instructions God has for their struggles and issues, but ultimately "People are going to do what they want." I never want people to shy away from bringing me their burden hearts, but when they do, I must remember that 8 word sentence. Then I also must give it to God, and leave it at His feet.

I will have a true test of living out my 2nd goal as I begin leading Beth Moore's "Living Beyond Yourself" at our church this fall (actually in 3 weeks!). I decided to give up the comfy home setting of my living room and reach out to the women in my church. This will allow childcare for mom's of young children which I'm hoping will make the commitment to join the study. My prayer is that God will bring exactly the women who need this, and that all of us will find a connection through the study of the Fruits of the Spirit(the topic of study).

I know I have only shared 2 goals, but for me this is going to be huge to accomplish. What are your top goals for the fall? I'd love for you to share your heart so I can be praying for great things in your life too.

A Storm That Only God Can Calm

I've been thinking a lot about the word "storm" these past two weeks. Someone very close to me is going through an extremely difficult time right now, and a storm is the one word that keeps coming to my mind when I think about their situation. Just for kicks I looked up the definition for a storm this morning. It is amazing how much real weather storms and our personal storms can sound and feel alike. Here are just a few definitions that caught my eye: an atmospheric disturbance, a heavy shower of objects, such as bullets or missiles, a strong or violent outburst, as of emotion or excitement and a violent disturbance or upheaval. All of these could describe many peoples' personal storms, but the one that stopped me in my tracks and hit me hardest was "a violent, sudden attack on a fortified place."

The person I have been praying for is under one of the worst spiritual attacks I have ever seen. Their fortified place has not only being attacked, it is being destroyed with bullets and missiles from every human angle. Everyday it seems there is more conflict, more uncertainty and more to fight against. I hate this storm for my loved one and wish more than anything that they could find a quick fix, that God would grant a miracle and that the dangerous storm would blow over. So far that has not happened, and I, along with many others continue to cry out to God on their behalf.

Thankfully, one thing that God keeps reminding me throughout His precious Word is that storms DO NOT LAST FOREVER. He has also given me peace that even though we don't see God taking away the storm, he is working in it. For instance, this person has recommitted their life to Christ with a passion I have not witnessed in a very long time. Second, my loved one is surrounded by believers that are encouraging every step of their difficult battle and being the hands and feet of Jesus in helping with varied needs. And lastly, God has put all of us close to this person on high alert for our own fortified places. We are investing more in the important things like strengthening our own faith, improving our prayer lives, becoming more "others" centered and relying on Jesus to do what we are not able to do on our own.

Are you experiencing your own personal storm that doesn't seem to blow over or end? I have wonderful news for you. God has your storm covered and He will use it for good when you trust him with it fully. It may not end the way we would like and it may seem to others that He has let us down or forgotten us. He hasn't, and I believe when all is said and done with my loved one's storm, we will be praising God that He allowed it to take place.

I love Romans 8:38-39 and when I read it in The Message translation today, it gave me such a reassurance of God's love for all of us.

"So, what do you think? With God on our side like this, how can we lose? If God didn't hesitate to put everything on the line for us, embracing our condition and exposing himself to the worst by sending his own Son, is there anything else he wouldn't gladly and freely do for us? And who would dare tangle with God by messing with one of God's chosen? Who would dare even to point a finger? The One who died for us—who was raised to life for us!—is in the presence of God at this very moment sticking up for us. Do you think anyone is going to be able to drive a wedge between us and Christ's love for us? There is no way! Not trouble, not hard times, not hatred, not hunger, not homelessness, not bullying threats, not backstabbing, not even the worst sins listed in Scripture:

They kill us in cold blood because they hate you.
We're sitting ducks; they pick us off one by one.

None of this fazes us because Jesus loves us. I'm absolutely convinced that nothing—nothing living or dead, angelic or demonic, today or tomorrow, high or low, thinkable or unthinkable—absolutely nothing can get between us and God's love because of the way that Jesus our Master has embraced us."

Great Movie and Great Read

Last night my sister took me to the late showing of Julie and Julia starring Meryl Streep and Amy Adams. We both laughed so many times, and even shed a few tears. I thought it was brilliant, and I want to take my culinary man to see it too. It was a movie that had a lot of levels for me as a writer and yet, I let myself just go and enjoy. You'll see what I mean if you are also a fellow writer. Most of all the movie made me want to eat. Ha ha! I do plenty of that already, but it made me want to seek out more challenging recipes. I always leave the sauces and real cooking to my husband. It is just following steps, which I do in baking all the time. Regardless, go see it. I think you will love it.

Do you all know Anne Rice? Yes, the vampire lady. Well, I had heard that she had returned to her Catholic faith and was now writing for Christ. When I was at the library last week I decided to give Anne Rice's Christ the Lord: Out of Egypt a try. I LOVED IT! ABSOLUTELY LOVED IT! I know it is just fiction, but it was beautifully written about what Jesus may have been experiencing as a young boy realizing who he was and what was to come for his life. I can't wait to read the next one.

I have been reading a lot of historical fiction this summer, especially The Lineage of Faith Series by Francine Rivers. I can't seem to get enough of my favorite fiction writer. If you have not had a chance to pick up a few and dive in, you will not be disappointed. I am also about to start her Sons of Encouragement Series. Can't wait!

I miss hearing from so many of you out there, if you have a Facebook, please let me know as that is where I've been spending too much of my free time. Blessings all!

Where is Susie?

My oldest daughter informed me last night that it was almost exactly one month since my last post. I kind of shrugged it off and told her, "Wow, that long?" Actually I know exactly how long it has been, but every time I sit down to write lately, my words seem meaningless. Since many of you who happened upon this are bloggers, you probably can relate in some way. If someone is going to take the time to read a post, you don't want to waste their time in the process.

However for me, my blog writing was never meant to be about writing that would get noticed for content or excellence. It has always been about a personal journal for myself, my children and anyone who happens upon it, to see how God has works in one's life who is surrendered to Him. I struggle, I triumph, I even sometimes crawl through this journey, but I press on with all my heart to seek Christ every step of the way.

Today is about seeking out a good family physician for my husband and for myself. We are both in need of a good physical and lifestyle change. Today is trying to creatively figure out how to stay in our home we know we can't afford. That may mean me going back to work part-time or putting our home on the market. Today is about praising God for what I do have which is far more than I could ever deserve. Lastly, today is about remembering God has it ALL covered, and the wisdom and counsel I seek, is readily available when I humbly go before him in prayer.

*** FYI***Faith Imagined is having a giveaway contest! She will be giving away three Amazon e-mail gift certificates: 1st place is $50, 2nd place is $30 & 3rd place is $15! Stop by her site for details and to be encouraged by this lovely writer.

Our Trip to Hartwell, Georgia

This summer has been one of my best yet! Not only have we been blessed with being back in our home, we have also been blessed by getting to take a trip to Georgia. Skip is the Creative Arts Pastor of Real Life Fellowship which gave us the opportunity to head over to Hartwell Georgia this past week. RLF has a beautiful campus there and Skip and I were honored to see what a huge impact this church is making in the hearts and lives of that community. The people there are amazing! There were smiling faces and hugs all around. Skip led worship on Sunday with some very talented musicians and was able to watch what hard work this awesome group of people in Hartwell put forth. It was great to see that week after week God is all given glory and honor by what the people in Hartwell are accomplishing.

Here is the front of the church which is actually a historic home in downtown Hartwell. It was renovated and this site launched in January of 2008. They normally run over 200 people a weekend in a town of 5000 people. God is good!

Here is an inside shot of the auditorium where they have morning worship service. There are two large screens which show a pre-taped message each week of our Pastor Micah Davidson.

Thought this was a fun picture of their bookstore! The entire historic home is such a gorgeous place for a church. Lots of talented people put in hours and hours of time to make it so awesome.

Here is some of the congregation having fellowship time before service began. Lots of donuts and coffee were on hand. I went for the sweet tea every time we came on site. Love that Georgia sweet tea!

During our stay, we visited the Alpine Village of Helen, Georgia. What a precious place! We walked around and visited tons of little shops and enjoyed the beautiful scenery. You can see more about Helen here.

While in Georgia Skip and I stayed with a friend from the church Skip had met the year before. Adam was a great host and even showed us around the University of Georgia campus in Athens. Go Bulldogs! I think every room in Adam's beautiful home had something from his Alma mater. This picture of Skip and me was taken on the beautiful grounds of University. Skip even rang the Chapel Bell a couple of times. Thanks to Adam and his sweet girlfriend Laci for the tour and the fun visit.

Skip and I were able to spend the most time with our pastor's sweet parents who are the campus pastors of RLF Hartwell. Bill and Alice Davidson have more energy that most 20 year olds I know and have such a huge passion for the people of their community. They introduced us to just about everyone in town and lavished us with southern hospitality. Here is a just one picture of their beautiful yard. Alice is a master gardener and let me join her in picking tomatoes, blackberries, blueberries, squash and a few strawberries. She and her husband live on beautiful Lake Hartwell and the scenery literally took my breath away.

Here is Skip with Pastor Bill in front of Gumlog, a popular landmark restaurant in Georgia. They serve up a great basket of catfish, flounder and shrimp that Skip and I shared. Oh, and lots of sweet tea too!

Here is a shot of Lake Hartwell just an hour before the best fireworks show I've ever seen in my ENTIRE life started. The fireworks were about at the Disney level and it was literally right over our heads. Wow, what a show!

Even though Skip was there to do some ministry work, I truly felt like this was a great time of rest and refreshment. Can you tell with my feet up here? Thanks so much to all the people of Hartwell for blessing us with your love and encouragement. Thank you to Pastor Micah and Lori for giving us the opportunity to go and see firsthand what is God is doing, and lastly to my awesome in-laws who watched our kids for 5 days with no break. I love you both so much and don't know what I did to deserve such wonderful grandparents for my kids.

17 Years and Counting

It's 17 years today! Wow, it seems so crazy that 17 years ago Skip and I stood before God, family and friends and committed ourselves to love, honor and cherish each other forever. I remember with such clarity staring at Skip at the alter and thinking, "This man is perfect. I can't imagine life every being anything but absolutely magical with him." Boy, was I naive. He probably thought the same thoughts about me too. Only he probably thought something like, "This woman is so hot. She is going to be the wife of my dreams and always look amazing and want me 24/7." Cmon, he is a guy and these are important things in their manly world.

What we actually experienced in our 17 years was such a roller coaster ride of abrupt stops, huge curves out of nowhere, and a ride we often wanted to stop and get off. People often look to us as the couple "so in love" or the couple who seems to know what it takes to succeed. Oh I wish we had it all figured out so I could share this a make a million. I truly don't believe there are any ideal steps to follow or rules that make a marriage work. For us it simply comes down to this, we fail...we fail a lot. We say things we shouldn't, we let one another down at times, and we often choose not to love and respect each other the way we should. However, we have a foundation that started about 6 months into our marriage that made all the difference in the world.

For those who know me, you know what that treasure is-it is Christ! Sure we might have made it without that foundation, in fact people have marriages all the time survive without putting God first. I'm definitely not saying it can't happen. But there is freedom in Christ that I know takes our marriage to the next level. Christ is the source that fills me, that never lets me down and gives me the desires of my heart. I can't expect a man to do what only God can do. There have been so many times that I wanted to make Skip my all, but he failed. Same with me, I can't love perfectly and meet all of Skip's needs. Christ lets both of us off the hook. Don't get me wrong here, Skip is the man of my dreams in so many ways as a great father, an amazing lover (insert ewww if my kids were reading) a fantastic provider and an honorable godly man, but he is simply, just a man. Oops, almost forgot a fantastic cook! Even with all these great points, I know that God loves me even more.

Today I want to thank God for my marriage and let Skip know how blessed I am to have him in my life. However, I also want to tell you that if you aren't feeling such wonderful adoration for your man, in fact you aren't even sure why you married the guy in the first place, then I want to give you a little wisdom that helps me on those days (yes, we all have those days.) Pray for him. Respect him. Hug him. Encourage him. Serve him. Love him. Even if you don't feel like it or he doesn't deserve it, do it today. Above all else, ask God to make your marriage one of honor. I'm still doing that today after 17 years and I can honestly say "God answered!"

Happy 15th Birthday Ashley

Today my firstborn is turning 15, and I truly feel like the most blessed mom in the whole wide world. Even though many may say she is my twin, it is only on the outside. She is so much like her daddy in personality it is scary. For instance, we have been on a mini vacation for the last few days and I asked her if she wanted a friend over for a sleepover tonight for her bday. She said, "Mom, I've been around people all week, and you think I want someone else over?" If you know my husband, you will be laughing. He loves people...in small doses...on his terms. Too funny!

I thought in celebration of her 15 years of blessing us, I would give 15 great memories, abilities, personality traits or stories about my lovable daughter.

1. Ashley is named after a girl I went to high school with named Ashley Logan. I'm sure the girl wouldn't remember me, but I was invited over to her house for an Anchor Club breakfast when I was a sophomore and I fell in love with that cute name. The girl was fun, outgoing and popular, and I decided right there (at 15 probably) that I would name my first daughter Ashley. If she was a boy is was going to be Ashton. I loved both names, but I'm glad I got my Ashley.

2. Ashley did everything early. Why we pushed her so hard to crawl, walk and talk so fast, I will never know. She walked at 8 and half months, and could fully say her ABC's and full sentences at 2. She was so much fun and always making the funniest faces with her big blue eyes. Her eyes didn't turn green until after her 1st bday.

3. Ashley is not my sports girl. She took dance for many years and made us proud, but one year when she was 6 she did try soccer. At her first game she ended up chasing a baggie that was flying around in the Corpus Christi wind the ENTIRE TIME. Her basketball career didn't fair too much better in junior high, but the girl gave it a try anyways. My Ashley has the best attitude when she isn't good at something. She does what she is good at instead.

4. Ashley wore bows the first 6 years of her life (poor thing I know). She has continued to like being girly and wearing dresses. It was all she knew having me for a mama so thankfully it caught on and continues today. One time at about two she was crying and it she kept touching her head. I realized that she was upset because we were about to leave the house without a bow. LOL, that was my Ashley.

5. Ashley is a fantastic writer. She writes song lyrics, poems and short stories. Every time I read something of hers it makes me so proud. Okay, she is a little like me in that she loves to write and read. However, she blows me away with her abilities.

6. Ashley has almost a photographic memory. I am amazed at how well she can recite things she's heard. She has always been that way with things she likes. I can't even tell you how much of the conversations in the Twilight series she has memorized. Which brings me to the next point...

7. Ashley loves Twilight. Let me rephrase that...Ashley loves all things Twilight! We are having a Twilight themed bday party, her room has Twilight posters, she reads Twilight blogs, she dreams about the characters in Twilight. As much as I've tried to discourage her a bit, it is really a beautiful love story (except that the main characters are vampires and all). Heehee.

8. Ashley is funny! Her laugh is contagious and the things she comes up with never leave us doubting that she is her father's child. I cannot ride in the car with out her record pantomiming the words to every song on the radio. She makes me laugh everyday and I love that about her. In fact, a sense of humor is one thing that has helped Skip and I get through so much in our marriage. I'm glad it passed on to our children.

9. Ashley is smart! I'm so proud of the grades she has made this year and how hard she works. She corrects my grammar and my misspellings daily. Someone needs to do it. Her ability to learn new things amazes me.

10. Ashley is creative. Even as a young child she did things differently than everyone else. In her first preschool class (she was just a couple of months older than 2) she did an art project. I think it was a picture of an animal and all the kids had to do was glue on the eyes, the nose and the mouth. We saw tons of cute pictures, but when we came to Ashley's it is looked like a Picasso. Everything was out of place, but it looked interesting. I'm so glad she is unique in how she looks at things in this world.

11. Ashley loves to sing. She sings all the time. She may not be a musical genius, but she appreciates and loves to have music playing all the time. She introduces me to new artists and new styles of music I probably would never have been exposed to, but they are always great to enjoy.

12. She loves animals. She has been the main caregiver of our dog Triscuit, and is always willing to do the not so fun things associated with having a dog.

13. Ashley is strong in her beliefs. Oh I wish I could have been more life her as a young lady. She truly has a heart for God and will not let anyone shake that. When I hear her pray and write to God, I am amazed. I can't wait to see where God takes her in her journey with Him.

14. Ashley is a wonderful big sis. Don't get me wrong here, she can be bossy and demanding of her siblings, but she is a great helper and encourager when they need it. I love the way she will still play house and babies with her much younger sister. She also has such a great relationship with her brother and thinks he rocks!

15. Ashley sparkles! I know she will like this, and it is true. She is different from other girls that just go with the flow. She knows who she is and is proud to be that way.

I love you Ashley and I can't believe you are 15 today. I love you with all my heart!

New Movie for Matt and Someone's Turning One

My nephew Matt has had a very big week! To begin with he was cast in an upcoming family film called Furry Vengeance and he will be starring alongside of Brendan Fraser. It sounds like a fun and silly movie for the whole family. Matt is a natural comedian, and I can't wait to see him on the big screen again.

Matt also had the opportunity yesterday to throw out the first pitch at the Houston Astros/Cubs game. We weren't able to make it, but my sister said he did great and got it over the plate. I'm waiting to watch it as soon as she gets a copy. What a cool experience for Matt who has been a big Astros fan since he was a young boy. He and his family have always made an effort to go support the Texas team.

One last special thing happening is my sweet great nephew Deacon is turning one. His mommy and daddy are the best parents and are raising a precious little guy. I'm looking forward to celebrating with all the family at his first birthday party.

***Prayer request-Skip is having a horrible headache today, and my father-in-law isn't feeling well and having several tests done.

We're Home Again!

We just finished moving the big items last night over to our new, make that our new/old house. Taking time to pray and reflect on God's plan was the best part for this very tired and sore mom. We know it is just a house and believe me we have learned over the last year that it is very possible to live with MUCH less space, but I think there is a time to celebrate God's blessings, even the material ones he gives to us.

This is an old picture of the front of our home, since my camera cord has decided to leave the country and no forwarding address(actually I just lost it), but I wanted to show you a visual of how God can move you and turn situations around in ways that aren't comfortable for a while, but if you WAIT and TRUST, you will see His plan and His goodness.

I thought it would be fun to do a top 5 reasons why I am so happy to be back home in my old house.

1. The neighbors are awesome! We have been welcomed back with smiles, hugs and good wishes left and right. That is something I've really missed. One older lady told Skip how happy that there will be more of a male presence on the street again. He was always out working on the yard, playing basketball with Seth or washing the cars. There are also two new babies that were born over the last year within a couple of houses of ours, so my soon to be 15 yr old should be plenty busy with babysitting jobs in the near future.

2. We have more room. Exactly double the space of the last home we were renting. Ashley and Annie have a six year age difference and you can imagine how sharing a room was not their ideal situation. Ashley is 5'9 now and sharing a full size bed with her 9 year old (sideways sleeper) sister was the root of many arguments between the two. I gave away/sold a lot of our furniture during our first move, so it is going to be nice to slowly fill in some space again. I just recently became a fan of Craigslist, so I'm hoping to find some awesome deals there.

2. The way this move is affecting my husband. We both have been very impressed with the precious rent houses we have lived in over the last two years, but there is just something about living in a home you own. It was a little hard living only a mile or so away from something you own and not being able to live there. Skip worked so hard moving all the furniture(with his two titanium hips) and never complained. We did basically the entire move (except for the fridge) ourselves. Well, I still have a bazillion smaller things to move, but the majority is here.

3. The entertaining that this house allows. This is where the majority of my kids' teen years will take place, and it is able to hold many more bodies than our last two. I can't wait to get another bible study going, as well as dinners and family gatherings.

4. The opportunity for projects. We have an empty backyard that is just screaming for some landscaping. We can also paint any room we want, take down a wall if needed, or create whatever crazy idea pops into our (my husband's) head. I want to really make this house a home over the next year or so.

5. The last reason I am happy to be back home is because from the first moment we found this home, I knew it was a gift from God. Even though we tried to sell it for over a year, ended up with two mortgages for a while, and finally leasing it out for well under our monthly payment, this house has given us lessons we would have never learned otherwise. I thank God that I didn't know His plan, but that He always knew the path he wanted for us.

Thank you all for hanging in there with me through this crazy journey. Love you all bunches and bunches!

Thankful Thursday

1. I'm thankful for Jesus. I don't want to ever stop being thankful for His love and His grace. There is so many times when His love for me is the only thing I know for sure in this world.

2. I'm thankful for my husband of almost 17 yrs of marriage (this June). When I was first married Skip I could not imagine that I would still feel so in love after all this time, that I would still laugh at least 10 times a day with him, that he would still know how to melt me with just a touch, and that he would be the awesome man of God that he is today.

3. I'm so thankful for my sweet babies. Yes, I know they are 14, 12 and 9, but they will always be my babies. Seth and Annie performed last week at their Spring School Show. Wow, Seth can play the guitar! Annie did a great job singing and looking cute. She's my girl. I am also so proud of Ashley this year too. She finished her freshman year strong, even though we were concerned about the difficult academics she would be facing at her new school. Her highest grade is in Greek. She has consistently kept around an 97-99 average in the course and will be taking Greek 2 next year.

4. I'm thankful for my friends. I love each and everyone of you so much. Some are only a few miles away, some are hundreds of miles away and one is literally a continent away. You encouragement me with your support and prayers and make me want to live for God even more. A special thanks to my friend Tiffany in Florida. I went out for a 4 night stay with her beautiful family. Let's just say that girl could put Martha Stewart to shame. What a hostess! She lives right on the bay in New Symrna Beach with the most amazing view of a sunset I've ever seen. I miss her sweet and funny kids already and can't wait till we visit again. Thanks also to my dear friend Liana in Germany who recently showered me with gifts in the mail. She is just like that. I always joke around that I'm her sponsored child from the USA. Can't wait to bless her family back this summer when she visits.

5. I'm thankful that in less than 2 weeks my family is moving back home. That is, we are moving back to the home we own, but couldn't sell after a year on the market, and then we finally leased it. Remember? We had to rent here for six months and then that turned into a year. Anyway, we are so happy to go home and thank God for all of it!

That's all I have time for today. Hoping all of you have a very blessed day and find something to be thankful for too. If you would like to join in on Thankful Thursday, go here and leave your link.

Jon and Kate Plus 8, Mel Gibson and The List Goes On

DIVORCE. I'm sick of it, and I'm not even the one going through it. Every time I turn on the tv, or tune into a radio show, I am bombarded with the fact that one in two marriages end in divorce. It doesn't even seem to matter if they're Christians or not, it is still happening every where and every day.

Since my parents divorced after 24 years of marriage, I have a personal negative feeling when I hear about about a couple splitting up. It is not that I don't love the new step parents that I have (because I do so much), it is just the family unit is never the same. Every time we have a birthday party, a holiday celebration, or anything we want to share with the family as a whole, I always get a small sick feeling in my stomach. Will everyone get along? Will everyone feel equally loved and comfortable in the surroundings? Will anyone not come because of who will or will not be there? This is just a few of the questions that divorced families have to consider. I can't even imagine if my parents would have divorced when I was young, but a lot of my friend's parents have and there were often serious problems that stick with them even today.

Unless you live under a rock, you may not have heard about the Gosselin family's recent marriage problems. My kids absolutely love Jon and Kate Plus 8. In fact they know each of the Gosselin kids so well that they could pick them out of a line up, describe each of their personalities, and tell you what their favorite things to do are. I never watch Jon and Kate with them unless they beg and last night, they begged. What I was not expecting to see was the reactions I got from each of my kids. The emotions ranged from sadness to anger, complete silence to confusion. My kids have grown to love this family and look forward to spending time with them each week via the television. It is hard to watch this family they love so much go through the struggles they are now facing.

I guess my kids are going through some of the same emotions I faced recently as I've watched some of my closest friends recently seperate. It is hard to understand, it is hard to believe and it is often hard to find sympathy. I feel immediately for the children and not my friends. I know it's wrong, but it is the truth. The kids are not the ones responsible-Period! However, they will have to pay the price for the parent's decision. You see, I know what happens down the road. I know on a small level, but I know. I also have close friends who have been through a divorce and have shared with me how very hard the road is ahead. Even when they know they made the best decision they could, it still is tough. Divorce is hard, plain and simple.

Since the Gosselins have not yet divorced, we are going to continue to pray for a miracle, a change of heart. We want that for every family who is struggling right now over a possible divorce. I know only God can truly heal a marriage and bring a couple back together when it seems impossible. Luckily our God is a God who specializes in the impossible.

If you are going through a tough time in your marriage, please get counseling, please share your struggles with your christian friends who can pray for you and encourage you. Don't wait until it is too late to be open and honest. Most of all, give your marriage over to your Saviour who is ready and willing to do a mighty work. Let Him in and believe that things can change through His power and strength. God bless!

Calluses of the Heart

The dictionary defines a callus as an especially toughened area of skin which has become relatively thick and hard in response to repeated friction, pressure or other irritation. I have actually had several of these come about on my fingers and feet through the years, but they eventually go away. However the ones that you can't see, the ones on my heart, are taking a while to heal.

Have you ever had a best friend move? I never quite understood why some of the best friends God gives me are for such a short time? When I think about 3 girls in particular that God literally snatched hundreds, even thousands of miles away from me, just when we were at that comfortable call each other every day stage, it makes me wonder if God didn't want me to focus less on them for my growth and enjoyment, and instead bring my focus back to Him.

Have you ever left a church? I hear the "Uh huhs" coming through the blogosphere now. I know because some of you have shared on your blogs the heartache, the hurts and the experiences that were almost unbearable. Why is it that church is more like a family than family sometimes? I know the answer, but just asking your opinion. It is because the church is family to us. When I look back just 4 years ago, most of the friends I saw and shared life with on a daily basis are not my gals now. Sure we still chat on the surface and pray when a need arises for one another, but the bond was broken because of a choice where to serve (or in my case, where my husband followed God to serve). I think the part that hurts the most when you choose to leave is that the bond between the other girls is still stronger than ever, just you are no longer a part of it.

A third callus causer is really hard to share because it is the callus that develops because of me. I have only severed a few close friendships in my life. The reasons vary from they hurt me continually with their words, I couldn't deal with their personal decisions, and honestly the last one is the friendship literally wore me out emotionally. Looking back on these three are the hardest because I did have a choice. I had a choice to keep the friendship and just love the person through it all, but I didn't. Thankfully out of these 3, there is one I am once again working on. Building trust and healing a wound that lasted over 3 years is hard, but when the girl was your best friend since your Barbie playing days, there is something that's definitely worth fighting for in the end.

Just a few days ago I read a blog post of a friend. She was calling out her friends by name and thanking them for being so supportive to her through the last few years. It's funny because I almost expected to see my name. I haven't shared life with all of them in a couple of years and I somehow momentarily forgot that I wasn't in "the group". I actually started crying and feeling sorry for myself. "Why God?" I asked. "Why do I care and why can't I just be grateful and happy where you have placed me today and make those new bonds with the girls who need a friend like me?" My human understanding and answer would be-Why would I ever want to love and bond so fully when I could just as easily get hurt again? I also asked God right then and there "If you really love me, can't you just give me a new start? Or can't I just have some of the old friendships back again?"

His answer came the next morning as I was reading Deuteronomy 30. Somehow I've never, ever in all my years of bible study, come across these verses. Maybe they just never stuck before, but they did this day. I'm going to write out the entire passage, but I'm highlighted where I feel God said, "Listen up child."

"Here's what will happen. While you're out among the nations where God has dispersed you and the blessings and curses come in just the way I have set them before you, and you and your children take them seriously and come back to God, your God, and obey him with your whole heart and soul according to everything that I command you today, God, your God, will restore everything you lost; he'll have compassion on you; he'll come back and pick up the pieces from all the places where you were scattered. No matter how far away you end up, God, your God, will get you out of there and bring you back to the land your ancestors once possessed. It will be yours again. He will give you a good life and make you more numerous than your ancestors. God, your God, will cut away the thick calluses on your heart and your children's hearts, freeing you to love God, your God, with your whole heart and soul and live, really live. God, your God, will put all these curses on your enemies who hated you and were out to get you. And you will make a new start, listening obediently to God, keeping all his commandments that I'm commanding you today. God, your God, will outdo himself in making things go well for you: you'll have babies, get calves, grow crops, and enjoy an all-around good life. Yes, God will start enjoying you again, making things go well for you just as he enjoyed doing it for your ancestors. But only if you listen obediently to God, your God, and keep the commandments and regulations written in this Book of Revelation. Nothing halfhearted here; you must return to God, your God, totally, heart and soul, holding nothing back. This commandment that I'm commanding you today isn't too much for you, it's not out of your reach. It's not on a high mountain—you don't have to get mountaineers to climb the peak and bring it down to your level and explain it before you can live it. And it's not across the ocean—you don't have to send sailors out to get it, bring it back, and then explain it before you can live it. No. The word is right here and now—as near as the tongue in your mouth, as near as the heart in your chest. Just do it! Look at what I've done for you today: I've placed in front of you Life and Good, Death and Evil. And I command you today: Love God, your God. Walk in his ways. Keep his commandments, regulations, and rules so that you will live, really live, live exuberantly, blessed by God, your God, in the land you are about to enter and possess. But I warn you: If you have a change of heart, refuse to listen obediently, and willfully go off to serve and worship other gods, you will most certainly die. You won't last long in the land that you are crossing the Jordan to enter and possess. I call Heaven and Earth to witness against you today: I place before you Life and Death, Blessing and Curse. Choose life so that you and your children will live. And love God, your God, listening obediently to him, firmly embracing him. Oh yes, He is life itself, a long life settled on the soil that God, your God, promised to give your ancestors, Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob."

I have to add that the day before God placed these verses before me, we found out that our lease tenants are leaving 2 months earlier than expected. It puts us back in our home sooner than expected with many obstacles to overcome in the next month before we move. I think it is so strange that God is bringing me back to my exact home that we could not sell, same neighborhood and same surroundings, yet he is taking all the human comforts and many of the friendships I knew there completely out of the picture. I think He truly does want to give me a "new start" here. I can't wait to see how, as the verse says above, how God, my God, will outdo Himself! Your prayers are so appreciated.

Such an Amazing Night: Jaci Velasquez, Salvador and CircleSlide

What an amazing night of worship! Corpus Christi was treated to a concert by Christian recording artists Jaci Velasquez, Salvador and CircleSlide Friday night at Real Life Fellowship Church.

Here is front man Nic Gonzalez of Salvador taking the stage. They played some of my favorites such as "How Far is Heaven", "Shine" and "Aware." The whole crowd was on their feet as Salvador brought down the house, or I guess that would be church.

Jaci played all my favorites and blew everyone away with her phenomenal vocals on songs like "Lay It Down", "On My Knees", and "God So Loved". There are so many memories of my walk with God in her songs that I couldn't hold back the tears, especially during "Lay it Down." Even my 12 yr old son (who had no idea who she was) loved her!

Okay, this is my new favorite picture. Isn't it cool that I was able to meet someone face to face who has sung to me about my Heavenly Father so many times in my ipod. She was precious! Jaci has two little boys and one is only 8 weeks old. She also happens to be married to Salvador's lead singer Nic Gonzalez.

Nic was awesome to take a moment to chat with my son Seth and take a picture. This guy is not only a extraordinary musician and vocalist, he is madly in love with his wife and kids and talked about them constantly throughout the show. Can't wait to see all the great things ahead for Salvador and Jaci Velasquez. If you would like to check out their sites go here and here for more info.

Last, but certainly not least, we have the opening act of the concert. CircleSlide was OFF THE HOOK! I had never heard of this group before, but me, along with everyone in attendance, became instant fans. They quickly sold out of all their cds and special orders had to be taken on the spot. They are a christian rock band that I'm sure you will be hearing more from soon. I got to hang out with lead singer Gabe Martinez's sweet wife Debbie and quickly saw their passion for reaching people for Christ through their music. My son Seth was blown away by Gabe's guitar and harmonica sounds that left everyone on their feet wanting to hear more. Gabe also took time to talk with my son and everyone in attendance. Great guy and great band!
Go here to check out their music.

My Sweet "Esther" Friends

We concluded our last Esther Bible study group this Thursday with a very first for me as a bible study leader. The same six that started are the same six that finished strong. It was a small group, but it was an amazing group. I am so proud to be called their friend. God put together a group that faced some private huge obstacles and prayer needs like I've never encountered before, but God brought each of us through victoriously.

We laughed, we cried, we prayed, and we got to know our beautiful Saviour even more. Every week the ladies seem to outdo each other with our brunch items. I blame all my weight I am trying to work off on their yummy treats. Here is Debbie and my "English" friend Heide. I could listen to her accent forever. They became bestest friends during this study. It makes my heart melt with joy.

Here is my girl Michelle and our youngest member Theresa. Talk about some hearts of gold. Theresa's sweet man is coming home from Bahrain this next week. We all tried to shower her with love to fill in the gaps from her husband being gone for months. Have fun Theresa and we wish you the best on your next season of life. Wish you were stationed here next.

Really and truly we are all waiting for our King who is coming for us. I gave each of the girls a crown and scepter to remember our study of Queen Esther. If this picture looks weird with me in front, it is because Skip had to photoshop me in since I took the picture of us. My man is good for anything media/techie.

My sweet girls blessed me with a beautiful card, picture frame and candle. As much as I want to burn that candle, I'll try to save it for our fall study. If truth be told, I don't think I'll make it another day. I needed a new candle in the worst way.

I love these precious "trust God" gift bags I found at the dollar store this week to fill with a few goodies for my girls. One of the main things God taught me during the study of Esther is that even though He wasn't on the written pages of Esther, He was ALL IN IT! I need to trust God that even when I can't feel Him or see how He is working something out in my life...He knows, sees and is at work for my good. He is for your good too!