A Storm That Only God Can Calm

I've been thinking a lot about the word "storm" these past two weeks. Someone very close to me is going through an extremely difficult time right now, and a storm is the one word that keeps coming to my mind when I think about their situation. Just for kicks I looked up the definition for a storm this morning. It is amazing how much real weather storms and our personal storms can sound and feel alike. Here are just a few definitions that caught my eye: an atmospheric disturbance, a heavy shower of objects, such as bullets or missiles, a strong or violent outburst, as of emotion or excitement and a violent disturbance or upheaval. All of these could describe many peoples' personal storms, but the one that stopped me in my tracks and hit me hardest was "a violent, sudden attack on a fortified place."

The person I have been praying for is under one of the worst spiritual attacks I have ever seen. Their fortified place has not only being attacked, it is being destroyed with bullets and missiles from every human angle. Everyday it seems there is more conflict, more uncertainty and more to fight against. I hate this storm for my loved one and wish more than anything that they could find a quick fix, that God would grant a miracle and that the dangerous storm would blow over. So far that has not happened, and I, along with many others continue to cry out to God on their behalf.

Thankfully, one thing that God keeps reminding me throughout His precious Word is that storms DO NOT LAST FOREVER. He has also given me peace that even though we don't see God taking away the storm, he is working in it. For instance, this person has recommitted their life to Christ with a passion I have not witnessed in a very long time. Second, my loved one is surrounded by believers that are encouraging every step of their difficult battle and being the hands and feet of Jesus in helping with varied needs. And lastly, God has put all of us close to this person on high alert for our own fortified places. We are investing more in the important things like strengthening our own faith, improving our prayer lives, becoming more "others" centered and relying on Jesus to do what we are not able to do on our own.

Are you experiencing your own personal storm that doesn't seem to blow over or end? I have wonderful news for you. God has your storm covered and He will use it for good when you trust him with it fully. It may not end the way we would like and it may seem to others that He has let us down or forgotten us. He hasn't, and I believe when all is said and done with my loved one's storm, we will be praising God that He allowed it to take place.

I love Romans 8:38-39 and when I read it in The Message translation today, it gave me such a reassurance of God's love for all of us.

"So, what do you think? With God on our side like this, how can we lose? If God didn't hesitate to put everything on the line for us, embracing our condition and exposing himself to the worst by sending his own Son, is there anything else he wouldn't gladly and freely do for us? And who would dare tangle with God by messing with one of God's chosen? Who would dare even to point a finger? The One who died for us—who was raised to life for us!—is in the presence of God at this very moment sticking up for us. Do you think anyone is going to be able to drive a wedge between us and Christ's love for us? There is no way! Not trouble, not hard times, not hatred, not hunger, not homelessness, not bullying threats, not backstabbing, not even the worst sins listed in Scripture:

They kill us in cold blood because they hate you.
We're sitting ducks; they pick us off one by one.

None of this fazes us because Jesus loves us. I'm absolutely convinced that nothing—nothing living or dead, angelic or demonic, today or tomorrow, high or low, thinkable or unthinkable—absolutely nothing can get between us and God's love because of the way that Jesus our Master has embraced us."

17 Years and Counting

It's 17 years today! Wow, it seems so crazy that 17 years ago Skip and I stood before God, family and friends and committed ourselves to love, honor and cherish each other forever. I remember with such clarity staring at Skip at the alter and thinking, "This man is perfect. I can't imagine life every being anything but absolutely magical with him." Boy, was I naive. He probably thought the same thoughts about me too. Only he probably thought something like, "This woman is so hot. She is going to be the wife of my dreams and always look amazing and want me 24/7." Cmon, he is a guy and these are important things in their manly world.

What we actually experienced in our 17 years was such a roller coaster ride of abrupt stops, huge curves out of nowhere, and a ride we often wanted to stop and get off. People often look to us as the couple "so in love" or the couple who seems to know what it takes to succeed. Oh I wish we had it all figured out so I could share this a make a million. I truly don't believe there are any ideal steps to follow or rules that make a marriage work. For us it simply comes down to this, we fail...we fail a lot. We say things we shouldn't, we let one another down at times, and we often choose not to love and respect each other the way we should. However, we have a foundation that started about 6 months into our marriage that made all the difference in the world.

For those who know me, you know what that treasure is-it is Christ! Sure we might have made it without that foundation, in fact people have marriages all the time survive without putting God first. I'm definitely not saying it can't happen. But there is freedom in Christ that I know takes our marriage to the next level. Christ is the source that fills me, that never lets me down and gives me the desires of my heart. I can't expect a man to do what only God can do. There have been so many times that I wanted to make Skip my all, but he failed. Same with me, I can't love perfectly and meet all of Skip's needs. Christ lets both of us off the hook. Don't get me wrong here, Skip is the man of my dreams in so many ways as a great father, an amazing lover (insert ewww if my kids were reading) a fantastic provider and an honorable godly man, but he is simply, just a man. Oops, almost forgot a fantastic cook! Even with all these great points, I know that God loves me even more.

Today I want to thank God for my marriage and let Skip know how blessed I am to have him in my life. However, I also want to tell you that if you aren't feeling such wonderful adoration for your man, in fact you aren't even sure why you married the guy in the first place, then I want to give you a little wisdom that helps me on those days (yes, we all have those days.) Pray for him. Respect him. Hug him. Encourage him. Serve him. Love him. Even if you don't feel like it or he doesn't deserve it, do it today. Above all else, ask God to make your marriage one of honor. I'm still doing that today after 17 years and I can honestly say "God answered!"

Calluses of the Heart

The dictionary defines a callus as an especially toughened area of skin which has become relatively thick and hard in response to repeated friction, pressure or other irritation. I have actually had several of these come about on my fingers and feet through the years, but they eventually go away. However the ones that you can't see, the ones on my heart, are taking a while to heal.

Have you ever had a best friend move? I never quite understood why some of the best friends God gives me are for such a short time? When I think about 3 girls in particular that God literally snatched hundreds, even thousands of miles away from me, just when we were at that comfortable call each other every day stage, it makes me wonder if God didn't want me to focus less on them for my growth and enjoyment, and instead bring my focus back to Him.

Have you ever left a church? I hear the "Uh huhs" coming through the blogosphere now. I know because some of you have shared on your blogs the heartache, the hurts and the experiences that were almost unbearable. Why is it that church is more like a family than family sometimes? I know the answer, but just asking your opinion. It is because the church is family to us. When I look back just 4 years ago, most of the friends I saw and shared life with on a daily basis are not my gals now. Sure we still chat on the surface and pray when a need arises for one another, but the bond was broken because of a choice where to serve (or in my case, where my husband followed God to serve). I think the part that hurts the most when you choose to leave is that the bond between the other girls is still stronger than ever, just you are no longer a part of it.

A third callus causer is really hard to share because it is the callus that develops because of me. I have only severed a few close friendships in my life. The reasons vary from they hurt me continually with their words, I couldn't deal with their personal decisions, and honestly the last one is the friendship literally wore me out emotionally. Looking back on these three are the hardest because I did have a choice. I had a choice to keep the friendship and just love the person through it all, but I didn't. Thankfully out of these 3, there is one I am once again working on. Building trust and healing a wound that lasted over 3 years is hard, but when the girl was your best friend since your Barbie playing days, there is something that's definitely worth fighting for in the end.

Just a few days ago I read a blog post of a friend. She was calling out her friends by name and thanking them for being so supportive to her through the last few years. It's funny because I almost expected to see my name. I haven't shared life with all of them in a couple of years and I somehow momentarily forgot that I wasn't in "the group". I actually started crying and feeling sorry for myself. "Why God?" I asked. "Why do I care and why can't I just be grateful and happy where you have placed me today and make those new bonds with the girls who need a friend like me?" My human understanding and answer would be-Why would I ever want to love and bond so fully when I could just as easily get hurt again? I also asked God right then and there "If you really love me, can't you just give me a new start? Or can't I just have some of the old friendships back again?"

His answer came the next morning as I was reading Deuteronomy 30. Somehow I've never, ever in all my years of bible study, come across these verses. Maybe they just never stuck before, but they did this day. I'm going to write out the entire passage, but I'm highlighted where I feel God said, "Listen up child."

"Here's what will happen. While you're out among the nations where God has dispersed you and the blessings and curses come in just the way I have set them before you, and you and your children take them seriously and come back to God, your God, and obey him with your whole heart and soul according to everything that I command you today, God, your God, will restore everything you lost; he'll have compassion on you; he'll come back and pick up the pieces from all the places where you were scattered. No matter how far away you end up, God, your God, will get you out of there and bring you back to the land your ancestors once possessed. It will be yours again. He will give you a good life and make you more numerous than your ancestors. God, your God, will cut away the thick calluses on your heart and your children's hearts, freeing you to love God, your God, with your whole heart and soul and live, really live. God, your God, will put all these curses on your enemies who hated you and were out to get you. And you will make a new start, listening obediently to God, keeping all his commandments that I'm commanding you today. God, your God, will outdo himself in making things go well for you: you'll have babies, get calves, grow crops, and enjoy an all-around good life. Yes, God will start enjoying you again, making things go well for you just as he enjoyed doing it for your ancestors. But only if you listen obediently to God, your God, and keep the commandments and regulations written in this Book of Revelation. Nothing halfhearted here; you must return to God, your God, totally, heart and soul, holding nothing back. This commandment that I'm commanding you today isn't too much for you, it's not out of your reach. It's not on a high mountain—you don't have to get mountaineers to climb the peak and bring it down to your level and explain it before you can live it. And it's not across the ocean—you don't have to send sailors out to get it, bring it back, and then explain it before you can live it. No. The word is right here and now—as near as the tongue in your mouth, as near as the heart in your chest. Just do it! Look at what I've done for you today: I've placed in front of you Life and Good, Death and Evil. And I command you today: Love God, your God. Walk in his ways. Keep his commandments, regulations, and rules so that you will live, really live, live exuberantly, blessed by God, your God, in the land you are about to enter and possess. But I warn you: If you have a change of heart, refuse to listen obediently, and willfully go off to serve and worship other gods, you will most certainly die. You won't last long in the land that you are crossing the Jordan to enter and possess. I call Heaven and Earth to witness against you today: I place before you Life and Death, Blessing and Curse. Choose life so that you and your children will live. And love God, your God, listening obediently to him, firmly embracing him. Oh yes, He is life itself, a long life settled on the soil that God, your God, promised to give your ancestors, Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob."

I have to add that the day before God placed these verses before me, we found out that our lease tenants are leaving 2 months earlier than expected. It puts us back in our home sooner than expected with many obstacles to overcome in the next month before we move. I think it is so strange that God is bringing me back to my exact home that we could not sell, same neighborhood and same surroundings, yet he is taking all the human comforts and many of the friendships I knew there completely out of the picture. I think He truly does want to give me a "new start" here. I can't wait to see how, as the verse says above, how God, my God, will outdo Himself! Your prayers are so appreciated.

I Want to Move Some Mountains!

"I can almost see it

That dream I'm dreaming.

But there's a voice inside my head saying,

"You'll never reach it"

Okay, I know this may be cheesy starting this post with a Miley Cyrus song, but it fits. We all have our our own personal battles we deal with daily, some more than others it seems. I know most of my personal struggles are seriously not a big deal to most , but they are sitting there in front of me nonetheless. Sometimes I feel completely powerless to change them. Other days, I feel like I can accomplish anything. Today is one of those days. I am working on my finance goals and my weight goals, both of which are a constant struggle for me.

What mountain do you need moving today? Do you really believe you can do all things through Christ who strengthens you? I have to share this version of Phillipians 4:13 from the Amplified Bible "I have strength for all things in Christ who empowers me [I am ready for anything and equal to anything through Him who infuses inner strength to me, I am self -sufficient in Christ's sufficiency.]" I know it's a lot of words, but I need to let them soak in deep today. I hope you will too.

"Keep Moving, Keep Climbing

Keep the faith, baby

It's all about, it's all about the climb,

Keep the faith, keep your faith"

Turning Pity Party into Praise

Do you ever have those pity party days? How about pity party weeks? Months? Years? Okay, I'm kidding now, but you know those times where you just want to complain, even though you know nothing is really too big for God. Oh my goodness, was I having one of those weeks. It was a circumstance that came out of nowhere and somehow my faith was taking a long, fat nap that day. I started to worry, no that's not right, I started to seriously panic. My mind went to worst case scenario, and my emotions were ...let's just say, not very becoming of me.

Praise Jesus that when I have those times, He tends to knock me right out of my desperation pretty quickly. However this time, He let me go on and on to a friend (a full out venting session...with TEARS! Oh the embarrassment! Not to mention I was hormonal(pms)too! Then about 24 hours later, God just poured His heavenly balm over me in a way that was so like his awesome Heavenly Self to do. He gave me a bazillion verses during my Esther week 8 video session that left me absolutely speechless, and most of all, BREATHLESS! Don't you love when Jesus shows us who He is through His Word and we can't even come up with words to adequately thank Him. I sure do.

I'm not going to just soak up all this good news he gave me and then not share with you. Even though your current situation is not the same as mine, I know it will encourage you nonetheless.

The first verse is Isaiah 30:18 "Yet the Lord longs to be gracious to you; he rises to show you compassion. For the Lord is a God of justice. Blessed are all who wait on Him." Beth Moore shared that the words "longs" and "wait" in this verse in Hebrew, both mean the same thing-wait. God waits on us and we are to wait on Him. I just love that! He waits on me to get my act together, so can't I wait on Him to work things out for good? I know He could fix my problems instantly, but what kind of faith would I develop and why would I need to trust if things always went according to the way I want. I would much rather be a warrior than a spoiled brat. This brings me to my next verse.

Deuteronomy 33:29 "Blessed are you, O Israel! Who is like you, a people saved by the Lord? He is your shield and helper and your glorious sword. Your enemies will cower before you and you will trample down their high places." Beth reminded me through this verse that even though most of us think we are wimpy and helpless, God says we are His People and that our enemies will cower before us and be trampled by us. Why? Because we are a people like no other, we are a people saved by the LORD! That makes us capable of some major booty kicking of the enemy. Why do I always forget this?

Things are not hopeless. God brings hope. Things are not impossible. God does the impossible. Things on this earth are temporary. God is EVERLASTING. Let's bring honor to our Saviour by remembering this when times are tough and struggles are overwhelming. After all in Isaiah 49:16 God tell us "See, I have engraved you on the palms of my hands." And there is absoluely NO place I would rather be!

Talk Radio Vs. God Talk

One of my favorite guilty pleasures is talk radio. I listen to Dave Ramsey, Kidd Kraddick, and Eric Von Wade (local) just to name a few. Some are very informative about our country, economy and local happenings. However one that I tend to find myself loving the most is purely for entertainment.

This morning as I was listening to a segment on Kidd Kraddick called "Get Over It", I started to come up with my own list. In this segment listeners call in with something they wish people in their lives would get over. For example someone said, "I have piercings and tattoos and I go to church". Then they play a sound byte that says, "GET OVER IT!". Another said, "My future in laws are trying to ruin my wedding, but we are getting married." Again the sound byte plays.

My first reaction was, Wow this would make a great blog post. I could write out the 5 or 20 things that are really bothering me right now, and then I could have commenters write out their pet peeves too. Believe me, I have quite a few right now as I'm sure all of you may. When I start thinking about people who have hurt me or hurt someone I love with their words or actions, it would be easy for me to go off.

HOWEVER, since this morning I chose to go to God's Word before my blog, He stopped me right in my tracks. In my Esther study, Beth Moore made a statement that "because Satan has a limited leash where believers are concerned, his most powerful tactics are psychological. Though he can't possess our minds, he profoundly and destructively influences our thoughts. " Right before reading this I was having some serious mental torment last night and early this morning worrying about some close friends of mine. Then as I woke up and read a blog, I suddenly felt such hurt and anger by some one's personal words which I felt were directed at me personally.

It is so easy to let anger and bitterness seep into our hearts when we are not filling our hearts overflowing with Jesus. His Word needs to fill our thoughts so that we will not fall into the temptation of reacting with anger or a feeling of injustice when people speak untruth or when people hurt us. Unfortunately we all make mistakes, I make them daily and often hourly. I am trying to confess to someone when I've hurt them and try to make things right, but we are human and therefore that won't always be the case.

I think what I really need is "to get over" the fact that there is a real enemy who wants nothing more than to trip me up in my walk with God. What he hasn't quite figured out is that when he does this it makes me only seek Christ even more and affirms my dedication to KNOW Him and his Word even more.

Is there something you personally need to get over? Are you letting God in on this area or problem? Take it to Him.

This is the verse that help me most today. Psalm 25 "To you, O Lord, I lift up my soul; in you I trust, O my God. Do not let me be put to shame, nor let my enemies triumph over me. No one whose hope is in you will ever be put to shame, but they will be put to shame who are treacherous without excuse."

I Miss My Little Man

When he first said the words, "Mom, we have a middle school retreat coming up soon and you need to fill out this form," I thought he was joking. Why would Seth want to go to a 4 day, 3 night retreat when he has only spent the night with one friend in the last year? Then as the days got closer, he became more persistent and insisted that we let him go.

It has now been one night since he left and my heart hurts so bad. I miss my son way more than I would if it was my girls. It isn't that I love him anymore, it is the fact that boys are different. At least in my case, my boy is different. I can already see at 12 he is trying to break free from me a little. Skip assures me this is okay and normal behavior, but I want my snuggle bubby back. At school he never wants me on the field trips or volunteering in his class, where my girls literally beg me to do everything. At home Seth is fine to hang out in his room, on the phone, playing guitar or if dad is off work, he wants to hang out solely with him. We don't argue or disagree much, it is just a subtle pulling away.

I really don't want to have one of those sons that their wives have to remind them to call their mother. I don't want to have to beg him to come and visit when I'm older. Is this normal concerns? I see it all over the place with my adult friends. Their husbands don't have this amazing relationship with their mothers. I want an amazing relationship with Seth! I'm praying for that for years to come, but I also realize that as he becomes a man, he needs to assert himself and one day be the leader of his home. Maybe all this distancing of himself is part of that whole process. But, I think it stinks!

Even God shares with us that "a man shall leave his father and mother and be united to his wife" in Genesis. It is just harder to take these steps than I thought it would be. Thankfully Seth is still going to be in our home for many years to come. For those wise women out there who are probably grinning at my silliness, feel free to assure me and give me points on how to best deal with this new phase of my life with a preteen 12 yr old boy. Oh my goodness, puberty is right around the corner too. Lord, please help me!