When he first said the words, "Mom, we have a middle school retreat coming up soon and you need to fill out this form," I thought he was joking. Why would Seth want to go to a 4 day, 3 night retreat when he has only spent the night with one friend in the last year? Then as the days got closer, he became more persistent and insisted that we let him go.
It has now been one night since he left and my heart hurts so bad. I miss my son way more than I would if it was my girls. It isn't that I love him anymore, it is the fact that boys are different. At least in my case, my boy is different. I can already see at 12 he is trying to break free from me a little. Skip assures me this is okay and normal behavior, but I want my snuggle bubby back. At school he never wants me on the field trips or volunteering in his class, where my girls literally beg me to do everything. At home Seth is fine to hang out in his room, on the phone, playing guitar or if dad is off work, he wants to hang out solely with him. We don't argue or disagree much, it is just a subtle pulling away.
I really don't want to have one of those sons that their wives have to remind them to call their mother. I don't want to have to beg him to come and visit when I'm older. Is this normal concerns? I see it all over the place with my adult friends. Their husbands don't have this amazing relationship with their mothers. I want an amazing relationship with Seth! I'm praying for that for years to come, but I also realize that as he becomes a man, he needs to assert himself and one day be the leader of his home. Maybe all this distancing of himself is part of that whole process. But, I think it stinks!
Even God shares with us that "a man shall leave his father and mother and be united to his wife" in Genesis. It is just harder to take these steps than I thought it would be. Thankfully Seth is still going to be in our home for many years to come. For those wise women out there who are probably grinning at my silliness, feel free to assure me and give me points on how to best deal with this new phase of my life with a preteen 12 yr old boy. Oh my goodness, puberty is right around the corner too. Lord, please help me!