To Comfort or to Confront?

After reading Mark Batterson's post this morning, I thought I needed to share something with anyone who may be struggling with this very question. Mark has some such wisdom so go check it out.

This is such a difficult area for me and I tend to fail miserably. I don't know if my Esther study is getting me a little ahead of myself in thinking I can make an impact, but I happened to experience a good and a bad response from confronting over the past two weeks. Both friends are facing pretty big issues in life, but one responding well, and the other not so well.

Trying to comfort is normally my motto. Just love the person, cry with them, help where you can, and stay out of giving your opinion. However, when that friend is close to you and you FEEL God may not be the center of their decision making, I feel confronting them is worth the try. Be careful with what you feel, feelings can be wrong.

First scenario, the friend did not want to hear what I said, but she listened and prayed about it. In the next few weeks, she thanked me. She acted on what was right and is confident that God will be there with her obedience. She knows I love God more than her and cannot disagree with the Word. I also love her bunches and want her to be happy despite it making waves sometimes.

Second scenario, a disaster. I've probably lost a friend and I am so wishing I would have never spoke my heart. Once your words are out there, they're out there. I am praying God blesses this friend and that I am completely wrong on what I spoke. I could have been gentler, less accusing, more compassionate, and more understanding. I should have just held my tongue and let someone else speak the truth. Sometimes a person that is too close to you, just needs you to love them.

My passion is encouraging women. I want them to be lovers of the Word, the best friend and encourager to their husbands, and to be content with the blessings God has given them. It is absolutely Satan's desire to take my passion away and to tell me I will never do this, or do this well. I have to trust that God is allowing things to not always go the way I want in helping my friends because he is trying to show me that it is not about ME. It is always about HIM working through me. It doesn't matter how hard I try and think I know what is right, it is only God who can be the true comforter and the one to ultimately confront in this world.

Facebook...Are You On???

I haven't seen many posts on the positives and negatives of Facebook, but I just wanted to share my own observations with those 4 or 5 humans on the planet who have not joined into the madness.

Positive

* A super fun way to keep up with those high school and college friends you haven't seen in years.

Negative

* They often at liberty will post the most unflattering pictures of you doing the most inappropriate things you might not necessary want to relive from 20 some odd years ago. I'm just saying.

Positive

* You get to know what others are doing every waking moment of the day.

Negative

* You get to know what others are doing every waking moment of the day.

Positive

* When you have a fun get together, party, or shower with your friends, you can post pictures of all the good times.

Negative

* When your friends have fun get togethers, parties or showers without you, you also get to see pictures of that. Not always so fun.

Positive

* It is so great to see a new friend appear that wants to be your friend.

Negative

* People can decline your friendship (not a good feeling), defriend you if they want(has happened), or they can block you completely from being their friend until eternity (well, not to worry if they are Christians, you will see them again in heaven)

All in all, I love facebook and the friendships I have reconnected with and the joy it brings me to stay in touch with all my loved ones. If you are thinking about FB I hope this helps, and if your already doing it and aren't my friend, look me up.

I want to leave you with one more positive. It is a small glimpse into your life and if you are a Christian, it can be a wonderful way for people to be encouraged by your walk with Christ. Be honest, but don't try to be something you're not. Enjoy and don't become obsessed as I often have done. "Let your light shine before all men to see, so that your Father in heaven may be glorified". Matthew 5:16

A Beautiful Bride and a Very Proud Aunt

When Skip and I first started dating, I had to make sure he was a kid friendly kind of guy before I got too serious. My sister had just had her second child, so I decided to take her sweet little 2 yr. old, Stephanie, for an afternoon of fun at our city park. Skip went along and I knew right then and there that he not only loved kids, he had a way with them that won me over even more. Above is a picture of that special day which is forever etched in my mind of my fun-loving little sweet niece named Steph.

Fast forward 16 years and all of a sudden this little girl was becoming a woman. She started dating and she told me of the love she had for a certain handsome boy named Charlie. I didn't meet this boy for another year or so, but I knew that look. I had already known that look because it is the same look I had in my eyes 16 yrs. earlier when I started dating my husband Skip. You know the love bug well when you have experienced it yourself. There is no turning back.

Fast forward another two years and my beautiful niece came over to my house to hang out with me and my kids. Something was different about her and I knew it instantly, but it took her a few days to let me in on it. She called me with an anxious, yet excited heart to let me know that she was expecting a child. Steph was not married and all she was concerned about in telling me was that how would this be explained to my kids who loved her so dearly and looked up to her in every way. I immediately told her that those kids have been entrusted to me, not her, and it was my responsibility to handle that. I told her I loved her unconditionally and I would love that precious baby too. It didn't matter to me if she decided to get married or not, I was happy for this new life and I knew God would bring his glory to this whole new chapter if she trusted in Him for her good.

Now, these two young people (Steph and Charlie) had a decision to make and it was made without hesitation. They kept this precious little boy they named Deacon, and my whole family has been blessed beyond measure with his arrival. Deacon is now crawling everywhere, saying mama and melting every heart that comes in contact with him.

On Friday, March 6th Stephanie and Charlie stood in the presence of God, family and friends and became husband and wife. What God has brought together for good has blown our minds. Skip and I have been blessed to counsel with this young couple, watch their love deepen for one another, and see that a baby can truly bless a couple in ways that far exceeded anyone's expectations. Everyone in our family has been affected in some way and grown in love and compassion through watching the events unfold. God truly did an amazing work in so many lives.

I am never excusing the way God intended for marriage to come first, but I have seen firsthand that God is ready to make beauty and happiness for those who turn to Him for direction and strength. My prayer is for this relationship to be one that others will find inspiration from and assurance in the love of our Father in heaven.

May Stephanie, Charlie and Deacon have a life full of blessings and continue to place God at the center of their lives and always trust in Him and Him alone. Congratulations sweet Steph-your aunt loves you so very much!

Talk Radio Vs. God Talk

One of my favorite guilty pleasures is talk radio. I listen to Dave Ramsey, Kidd Kraddick, and Eric Von Wade (local) just to name a few. Some are very informative about our country, economy and local happenings. However one that I tend to find myself loving the most is purely for entertainment.

This morning as I was listening to a segment on Kidd Kraddick called "Get Over It", I started to come up with my own list. In this segment listeners call in with something they wish people in their lives would get over. For example someone said, "I have piercings and tattoos and I go to church". Then they play a sound byte that says, "GET OVER IT!". Another said, "My future in laws are trying to ruin my wedding, but we are getting married." Again the sound byte plays.

My first reaction was, Wow this would make a great blog post. I could write out the 5 or 20 things that are really bothering me right now, and then I could have commenters write out their pet peeves too. Believe me, I have quite a few right now as I'm sure all of you may. When I start thinking about people who have hurt me or hurt someone I love with their words or actions, it would be easy for me to go off.

HOWEVER, since this morning I chose to go to God's Word before my blog, He stopped me right in my tracks. In my Esther study, Beth Moore made a statement that "because Satan has a limited leash where believers are concerned, his most powerful tactics are psychological. Though he can't possess our minds, he profoundly and destructively influences our thoughts. " Right before reading this I was having some serious mental torment last night and early this morning worrying about some close friends of mine. Then as I woke up and read a blog, I suddenly felt such hurt and anger by some one's personal words which I felt were directed at me personally.

It is so easy to let anger and bitterness seep into our hearts when we are not filling our hearts overflowing with Jesus. His Word needs to fill our thoughts so that we will not fall into the temptation of reacting with anger or a feeling of injustice when people speak untruth or when people hurt us. Unfortunately we all make mistakes, I make them daily and often hourly. I am trying to confess to someone when I've hurt them and try to make things right, but we are human and therefore that won't always be the case.

I think what I really need is "to get over" the fact that there is a real enemy who wants nothing more than to trip me up in my walk with God. What he hasn't quite figured out is that when he does this it makes me only seek Christ even more and affirms my dedication to KNOW Him and his Word even more.

Is there something you personally need to get over? Are you letting God in on this area or problem? Take it to Him.

This is the verse that help me most today. Psalm 25 "To you, O Lord, I lift up my soul; in you I trust, O my God. Do not let me be put to shame, nor let my enemies triumph over me. No one whose hope is in you will ever be put to shame, but they will be put to shame who are treacherous without excuse."

IN...OUT...ABOUT

Psalm 23:4 "Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me.

During this weekend's message, Pastor Micah was sharing with us Psalm 23:4 and he used the above three words to describe where all of us may be right now. Either we are in a valley, we just got out of a valley, or we are about to go through one. When he asked for a show of hands for how many are going through one right now, about a third of the hands went up. If I took a poll right now of my closest friends, it would probably be about the same amount. Everywhere we look, if we are truly looking, there is hurt people who need Jesus. Not only do we need to point them to Jesus, we need to point them to the HOPE of Jesus.

I think when we are going through these valleys, the main thing that usually trips me up is fear. Fear of not knowing how things are going to turn out, and the fear is almost always worse that the reality. Our minds can go to the worst case scenarios pretty fast if we let it.

Personally, I think when we do face these "out of our control" fearful situations, the first thing we need to do is search God's word for what is truth. If his Word tells me that "He will never leave me or forsake me" then the worst case is...I STILL HAVE JESUS. That is not a bad thing, that is the BEST thing. Second, I try to check out my own obedience. Do I have sin that needs to be brought forth before God. Is there an area of my life that I am not surrending to God's will. Sometimes, but not always, I am not being obedient and God is trying to work on me and get my attention. Lastly, when I know I am seeking God 100% and still a turn around is not occuring, I then earnestly try to trust God for my good knowing that the time I am experiencing is only for a season. I also try to remember that anything God allows to happen to me and my family is ultimately going to be used for good because of His love for me.

I know that you may be thinking that it is easy for me to write this because I'm not truly walking through a valley at the moment. Yes, that is true, but these words are going to be what gets me through my next one. Thinking on the things of God and consistently learning and studying his Word when I'm doing well, will make it so much easy to turn to Him for the serious big valleys that may be right around the corner.

Are you facing a valley that seems like the shadow of death today? Or does it just feel like that? Please know that you have a Saviour who is more that ready to walk with you and lift you up to higher ground.

Matthew 11:28 "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls."

I Miss My Little Man

When he first said the words, "Mom, we have a middle school retreat coming up soon and you need to fill out this form," I thought he was joking. Why would Seth want to go to a 4 day, 3 night retreat when he has only spent the night with one friend in the last year? Then as the days got closer, he became more persistent and insisted that we let him go.

It has now been one night since he left and my heart hurts so bad. I miss my son way more than I would if it was my girls. It isn't that I love him anymore, it is the fact that boys are different. At least in my case, my boy is different. I can already see at 12 he is trying to break free from me a little. Skip assures me this is okay and normal behavior, but I want my snuggle bubby back. At school he never wants me on the field trips or volunteering in his class, where my girls literally beg me to do everything. At home Seth is fine to hang out in his room, on the phone, playing guitar or if dad is off work, he wants to hang out solely with him. We don't argue or disagree much, it is just a subtle pulling away.

I really don't want to have one of those sons that their wives have to remind them to call their mother. I don't want to have to beg him to come and visit when I'm older. Is this normal concerns? I see it all over the place with my adult friends. Their husbands don't have this amazing relationship with their mothers. I want an amazing relationship with Seth! I'm praying for that for years to come, but I also realize that as he becomes a man, he needs to assert himself and one day be the leader of his home. Maybe all this distancing of himself is part of that whole process. But, I think it stinks!

Even God shares with us that "a man shall leave his father and mother and be united to his wife" in Genesis. It is just harder to take these steps than I thought it would be. Thankfully Seth is still going to be in our home for many years to come. For those wise women out there who are probably grinning at my silliness, feel free to assure me and give me points on how to best deal with this new phase of my life with a preteen 12 yr old boy. Oh my goodness, puberty is right around the corner too. Lord, please help me!

Do Your Homework Before Taking Your Kids to the Movie "Coraline"

I don't care if your best friend loved Coraline, or you heard a famous Christian artist talking about how visually wonderful it is, BEWARE.

I wasn't even going to bother with a review because this movie has so many elements I didn't like. There was the reading of tea leaves, the stripper size boob lady wearing pasties, and the ghosts of children lost in an evil world. Oh my goodness, it was bad...for kids. Oh but if you want stimulating visual art to look at, you will not be disappointed.

I had to hide my 9 year old's eyes a few times and she couldn't go to sleep last night. My 14 year old daughter words were, "That was so creepy and disturbing." Yes, I may shelter my kids way too much, but I certainly didn't last night and I deeply regret it. It just makes me mad I let Rotten Tomatoes decide for me that it was okay for my kids instead of this website. I would have known right away not to go see it.

A facebook friend called me out last night and asked, "Why didn't you just get up and leave?" I should have, and I guess the optimist in me kept thinking it would get better and have some redemptive qualities. It didn't and for that I will be wiser the next time I take my children to see a show that is a 3D family driven cartoon.

What's done is done, but I am going to do what I can to protect my friends from taking their small children. It is seriously not a young kid show. It doesn't have much redeeming qualities at all. I didn't like the way the young girl talked to her parents and especially didn't like the way her parents treated her. I have to stop now, or this will be the most negative blog post of my life.

Tuesday Morning Catch Up

*I'm still reading Mark Batterson's "In the Pit With a Lion on a Snowy Day". There is too much good stuff to rush through and perhaps miss something important. I especially love the part I read this morning-"There are only two ways to live your life: survival mode or prayer mode." He goes on to say, "Survival mode is simply reacting to the circumstances around you." He compares it to a pinball existence. "Prayer mode is the exact opposite. Your spiritual antenna is up and your radar is on." "Prayer puts you in a proactive posture. Prayer help us catch the opportunities God throws our way." Oh there is so much more-Go and get this book already!



*God is doing some amazing things at Real Life Fellowship. Every week we are seeing attendance soar and a number of people giving their hearts to Christ. I really have to keep from crying each week as I see all the new faces and lives being changed because of Christ alone. The men and women of this church are seeing something phenomenal happening. You know what, we were expecting great things and God is showing up and blowing us away! I knew it was coming for this faithful group of believers. My prayer is that your church also see such wonderful things!

*We signed our official lease yesterday to stay in our rent house 6 more months. My kids all gave a collective moan. To say that they were not pleased is a huge understatement. Skip went last night for a quick walk through of our home we will go back to in August last night and signed that lease. He said the house is in mint condition. Our renters have it looking better than we ever did. He said it smells way cleaner and looks way better than it has ever looked. Not sure if that way meant to insinuate that the tenant is a better housekeeper than me. Ha ha! I'm just glad God blessed us with some wonderful people. I've heard some real horror stories.

*My health status update. I've been on insulin resistance medication for a few weeks now, and not really seeing the pounds fall off. I have lost a few, Thank YOU GOD! I think it is because my body is not tolerating the pill itself very well. I get super naseous and have only made it up to 50% of my dosage. I am slowing getting there. The doc said when I am at 2 pills in the morning, 2 at night, is when it will start showing great results.

*Esther Study is starting Thursday. So excited about diving in with some new ladies. Have about 6 signed up so far, and one is bringing a friend. My home is pretty small so any more than 10 would be crowded.

*Kids are well from a stomach bug that wreaked havoc on our family last week. So far Skip and I have not been hit.

*Loving YouVersion daily bible readings. In Romans right now and finding so much practical wisdom for everyday living.

*So many great teachers and writers out there. So many books I need to order. These are on my wish list right now-Mad Church Disease, Wild Goose Chase and Killing Cockroaches. Can you tell I'm married to a pastor?

Looking Forward To
*bible study Thursday
*friends possibly coming in town this week
*having a clean home when I get my booty in gear
*church this weekend
*shopping for Ashley's formal dress this week
*losing weight
*shower for my niece in a couple of weeks
*Ashley's "Evening With Shakespeare" on Feb. 27th and 28th (her school's drama performance)

Are you finding joy in the simple things in life today? Love to hear what your looking forward to today!

My Little Man is 12 Today!

This is my middle child and basically, my twin. From the outward appearance he's all Terry (my dad's side of the family), but he got all the best parts from his daddy. I'm mainly speaking of his musical talent. A mama has to brag on her baby on his bday, so get ready.


He is an awesome musician! I know he has a lot of God given natural ability, but that's only the half of it. From the time he gets home from school until I come unplug his amp at bedtime, he is playing his guitar. Practice is so important, and he has that part down completely. He also has a keyboard in his room that gets about 30% of his time too. Now that Annie just received electric drums for her bday, he is already playing that at a level shocking both me and Skip.

This was Seth's Christmas present which he helped pay for and will continue to help us pay for over the next couple of months. It is his baby and he treats it better than his sisters. That's not okay, I'm just speaking the truth.

This is his first guitar. Not a great quality guitar, but he and his daddy spent an afternoon customizing the color. Doesn't he just look like a little rocker.

Seth plays in his Christian praise band at school and is fortunate enough to have two awesome godly young men mentoring him every week as his teachers. His entire tuition is worth those hour classes each day. I am so thankful!

Seth also has an incredible sense of humor, also like his daddy. Don't even get those two boys together on a roll. He can carry his own with most adults, that is if you can get him to talk. Many don't get to see that side of Seth because, unlike his Daddy, he is VERY shy if he doesn't know you. He is getting better each year, and going to a smaller private school has really allowed him to blossom into his own.

There is so much more to say about this precious little boy that had the roughest of starts, but he would probably never want to speak to me again if I did. He also gets embarrassed very easily. Anyway, I am forever blessed to have this sweet little man in my life and am praying for him today and always.

Seth has already given his life to Christ, and I'm praying that he will always know that the Lord is there for him and will never leave his side. I'm praying he always knows that God is the one who gave him his gifts and talents, and using them for God's glory is the most important thing he can do. I also pray that Seth finds his value in Christ and not man's approval. He needs to get that at an early age. Lastly, I pray Seth continues to have good health and a life that produces much fruit. Happy Bday Bub!

Thankful Thursday-Prayer and It's Power

Colossians 4:2 "Devote yourselves to prayer, being watchful and thankful."

Let's face it, all of us have junk in our lives. We all have personal struggles. Lately, I have been a bit overwhelmed by feeling responsible for the problems and struggles of family and friends. God is so comforting to me and reminding me that it is not my job or my responsibility to make things right, but it is my honor and privilege to pray for them. I can't change a person's mind, I can't give someone what they've been asking for and I certainly can't take away the pain they are experiencing. Many times I can't even share God's Word if they aren't willing to listen. But...I can pray and pray hard!

Thank you God for the ability to pray for others, and that you hear each and every request I humbly bring to you. I love you Lord!

Romans 8:26 "Meanwhile, the moment we get tired in the waiting, God's Spirit is right alongside helping us along. If we don't know how or what to pray, it doesn't matter. He does our praying in and for us, making prayer out of our wordless sighs, our aching groans. He knows us far better than we know ourselves, knows our pregnant condition, and keeps us present before God. That's why we can be so sure that every detail in our lives of love for God is worked into something good. "

If you would like to join in, please go here and leave your link.

Holiday Interview With Matt

Here is a video we shot at Thanksgiving. I forgot about it until Skip brought the footage home last night. We took this in my mom's spare bedroom and literally did it on the fly so excuse the way it's thrown together.

Why show this now? Well, HSM3 is coming out on dvd in February, and I don't want you to miss this opportunity to see the real Matt. We love this guy and know you will too! Here is a special peek at Matt seen only at A Pink Carnation in Bloom from his Aunt Susie.

Happy Birthday Beth!

Today my baby, Annie Beth, is nine yrs old. It is so easy to remember how long we've lived in Corpus because I just have to remember that we got pregnant with Annie the month we moved here over 9 and a half years ago.

We call her "Beth" around here because her middle name is Elizabeth. I forget sometimes when I'm out in public and people wonder who I'm talking to by that name. Skip has an assortment of other names for her like cupcake, tatertot(when she's being good), tatertoot(when she's not), Bether, princess and of course, baby(she is SO the baby of this family).

There are so many things I love about this girl. The first is the fact that she is my husband's twin in a girl form. How can I get mad at her when she looks like my sweet man? She is so tender at heart, yet she could take any one of my other kids DOWN if they cross her or ever make fun of her. "You don't mess with Annie" is one of our sayings, unless you are prepared for some bodily harm. She is all muscle with beautiful olive skin. She has a tan right now as I speak in the middle of winter.

Annie is extremely artistic, loves to bake (almost at an obsession level), does well at school, can groove like no body's business and blows me away at her innocence about life. She loves Jesus and never hesitates to ask for prayer for herself or others. I love this little girl so much and I'm so proud to be her mommy.

I still haven't found her gift yet. She either wants a new Barbie house (hers is probably 10 years old and in very bad shape), or she wants a drum kit. Pretty much complete opposites. What is so cute is that I know the only reason she wants a drum kit is because her brother told her that she could play in his band if she learns the drums. She CAN keep a good beat, so who knows what the future will hold for this little princess of mine.

Thankful Thursday

What a gorgeous day today is! Something as simple as the sun coming out after a pretty gloomy couple of weeks, can change your whole attitude. I was tempted to write a post last night because God was showing me so many things to be thankful for, but my list is still the same today.


1. I am thankful for God's love and grace he pours over me every day!

2. I am thankful for my hard working husband who is always thinking about our family's future and needs. Thank you for making him my best friend first.

3. I am thankful that my friend Cathy found a wonderful new job in ministry that she has been asking God to bring her.

4. I am thankful for my Pastor and his wife who are on their way home from Africa after adopting a precious young boy. Please keep this amazing family in your prayers for safety, for all the adjustments to be smooth, and for peace and love to cover their home.

5. Thank you God for my in-loves coming in town tomorrow to spend the day with us.

What are you thankful for today? If you would like to share with others besides me what you are thankful for, please join in by leaving your link here.

I Want A Challenge!

One of my favorite songs I must admit is Avril Lavigne's "Anything But Ordinary". It is kind of my theme song at the moment. I am definitely no advocate for the rocker rebel girl, but something in that song really resonates with how I have felt at different times in my life. I'm kind of feeling that way now and I know why. Everything is going good...marriage, kids, church, etc. The problem with normal is that it can get boring if you aren't doing what you are designed by God to do.

I am about to start a new bible study in a couple of weeks that will hopefully help this funk I'm in. I'm doing Beth Moore's Esther. I have 7 or so girls signed up from my church so far which I've never ever met before, and in my home. I've always known at least a few of the girls I'm leading. Am I scared? Absolutely, but scary is an adventure and something new.

So far this year I'm eating good, reading and studying God's word, hanging out with friends, but I'm also wasting way too much time with Facebook and Twitter. I need some REAL LIFE excitement and I can't sit and wait for someone else to figure out what that is for me. Believe me, if I say that to Skip, he will have me serving during every service in his ministry that I have no desire or passion for.

I need to prayerfully ask God exactly what it is that I can do for His glory. Maybe it is going back to school for another degree-(possibly counseling?), maybe it is taking a writing course, or maybe it is volunteering somewhere locally. Maybe it is taking what I'm already doing to a whole other level. I'm not real sure what He will say, but I certainly won't know until I start asking Him.

This reflective mood may just be PMS, but then again maybe God is making me uncomfortable because he wants to do something new in me. Will you pray for me? I would so appreciate it! I love you friends and hope that you are not buying into the ordinary life, but instead shooting for the Extraordinary. I certainly don't have it figured out, and I'm right there with ya:)

Need Some Help

Ash and her friend Zack learning the Waltz

Okay internet friends, I need your help. My 14 yr. old daughter's new school has a formal each year. We must find a dress in the next month, but I am at a loss of where to start.

It's not your typical prom for several reasons. Since it is a private Christian school and smaller in class size, it is a mandatory event for 9th thru 12th graders. They dress modestly and have assigned dates. They have to attend ballroom dance lessons leading up to the event, etiquette lessons and their is a big focus on training the gentleman on how to escort a lady and for the ladies, how to be escorted by a gentleman. They go over table settings, formal dress, dinner conversation and appropriate manners for bringing God glory through their social gatherings. They also have 5 course dinner and it's held downtown at our beautiful Corpus Christi Town Club.

My daughter is so excited about the whole experience, especially the dancing part. What princess wouldn't be? The difficult part will be finding a modest dress at a modest price. It needs to be floor length and of course no plunging necklines or backless types. It can be strapless if she wears a shawl. My daughter is not petite so we need a store that caters to her height and body type-(5'9'' and still growing). I found one website that has many choices, but my daughter really wants to try one on in person. I live in Corpus, but would be willing to travel to San Antonio or Houston if needed. Any ideas friends?