Please tell me I'm not the only one who struggles with this. The forgiving is usually a little bit easier than the forgetting. But then if I haven't forgotten, have I totally forgiven? It's gets really confusing to me, but God's Word is so clear on forgiveness. Here are my favorite scriptures in dealing with the topic of forgivesness. Maybe they will help you if you are stuggling in this area too. *For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. - Matthew 6:14
* But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins. - Matthew 6:15
* And when you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive him, so that your Father in heaven may forgive you your sins.” - Mark 11:25
* Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, “Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother when he sins against me? Up to seven times?” - Matthew 18:21
I think that most of the time the forgiveness is the hardest when someone has done something to someone I love. "Do something to me, but don't mess with my husband, my kids, my family or my friends," is often a thought that comes to mind. Jesus doesn't have exceptions to forgiveness, we must do it regardless of whose is hurt. I'm struggling with this, but I am not left alone with these feelings. God is there and he will help me to forgive and forget.
6 comments:
I think having a hard time forgiving and forgetting runs in my family. But I don't think we always need to forget. Forgive, yes. Forget, I don't think that is as black and white an issue.
My 2 cents!
I have to agree with Robin as well. Forgive yes, forget. Not sure on that one. I'm trying hard to forgive on some things right now. You don't mess with my family, kids and friends either. Thanks for the verses.
I don't believe we are required to forget, nor do I think we ever do. What I have found in my own life is when we have TRULY forgiven we can remember the incident, hurt, whatever it was we had to forgive, but we do not have the "emotional" feelings of pain, etc. it use to bring. It's sort of like a fact we know. Hope this makes sense. It is very hard to put in words what I "know" about this.
Susan
Susie, I too have struggled during this past season with the same thing...forgive and forget. I couldn't agree more with you and God's word is very clear about forgiveness; however, I think over time the "forget" will come yet it is an issue that I think we all must work towards. I'm currently in that phase. What I've come to understand is when we forgive others for the hurt, half truths, lies, etc... then we must totally, open handedly forgive and not hold onto anything. The forget part gets tricky because our human nature once we've been hurt and hurt and hurt again is to say, "well I can forgive but I'll never forget" and with that being said is the total opposite of who God is. No, there are more times than not when we don't deserve the hurt yet it's a time of opportunity for growth and that's up to us! For me, the hardest part in the "forget" is building the trust that has been broken. I'm with you though when it comes to my family and close friends....you mess with any of them and the lioness comes out...specially when it comes to my children. The following is a book that I've read to help me through this process and it's a really good book...."Forgive & Forget" Healing the Hurts We Don't Deserve by Lewis B. Smedes and another book that a friend recommended (you know who you are) is "The Shack" which is another great book.
I hope this helps as it has helped me.
Oh Susie...just been catching up on my blogs and came across yours this morn......I've been struggling with this exact thing for days now, even weeks...my head knows what I must do but my heart is protesting, and everytime I think that I can forgive another consequence rears it's ugly head from the incident that sends me into an angry funk again. In talking with my husband we wondered if our verbal unforgiveness is now affecting our relationship w/one of our daughter's who the betrayal was done against...she has been able to forgive but we are struggling. It's very hard when it's done to your children. Thank you for your thots.
Susie,
Just this weekend my husband and I were offended because we felt someone had been hurtful to our children - the worse kind of hurt for me to deal with. I prayed for God to help me love them and to see the enemy for what he is and what he was trying to do in stirring up trouble.
Lo and behold, guess who sat right behind us in church Sunday morning. Yep, and they NEVER sit there. This person also hugged me a total of 4 (four!) times yesterday morning!
So anyway, it does help to just recognize the devil for what he is and what he is trying to do in destroying people's relationships. The situations are still very, very hard, no doubt about it, but you are right, God understands and wants to help us to be more like Jesus.
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