I'm Starting Over

This is probably going to sound strange to you, but anyone who knows me and has read for a while will see my heart through this post.

I am now on month ten of having my house on the market. Yes, that is ten months of always making the bed, always being on alert that I may have to do a mad crazy cleaning spree if someone calls, and ten months of trusting God with this house which still hasn't sold. Not to mention having almost 5 full months of not having a husband at home each night. Thinking that surely summer would come, and the wait would be over, I now have sunk to some kind of hopelessness about the situation, which is completely unlike me. Praise God that He doesn't let me stay in the hopelessness for long.

I woke up at 4 o'clock AM this morning with that burning desire to be with God. Had I woken up at my normal time, there would have been children begging for breakfast, a bed to be made, and so on. If Skip would have been home, I would have just rolled over and gave him a hug and tried to go back to sleep. Since I was up, I went to my computer and started reading my bible and praying. I knew God was trying to tell me something, but I couldn't find it in my daily reading of my one year bible. I looked at a few of my favorite blogs, and one led me to this story of a sick little girl, and another to this post. They touched my heart so much that I started praying hard for these families. I prayed with tears and emotion. What a trial they are going through right now, but both of the women shocked me with their words of faith and belief. I am usually the one right there along thinking God is in control, and has a plan far greater than my own. Somehow, life has happened, my time is completely not my own, and doubt has taken root.

I stayed awake for about an hour and then turned the tv on to possibly help me drift back to sleep. When I turned it on Joel Osteen was of course on a motivating rampage. Don't you love that about Joel? You can't stay negative or downhearted when he is "preachin it". He was sharing about sticking it out, believing God for good, and not letting negative thinking keep you from your dreams and hopes. That is what I have been doing the past couple of weeks. Not seeing that God has something so wonderful for me right around the corner (and that corner could take months or a year), but it is coming. I have to keep believing! He just whispered to me, "Give it time baby, I'm at work on so much more here that you can imagine. Just trust me, believe me." So many people are praying for us, so many are believing God for us, and I know it will happen. I need to trust God's timing and not my own. I need to take those negative thoughts captive, and remember I have a God who does not run short of miracles.

I am starting over today. I am putting on the full armor of God and believing Him for this sale once again. It doesn't matter that it seems hopeless, God can do anything! I've seen it before more times than I can list, and I will see it happen with my house too. I am not apologizing for asking for prayer again. I need it, and it is okay to ask for the desires of my heart, even if they pale in comparison to other's needs. This is important to our family's well being and future. Please join me in prayer.