Sep 23, 2007

I'm Starting Over

This is probably going to sound strange to you, but anyone who knows me and has read for a while will see my heart through this post.

I am now on month ten of having my house on the market. Yes, that is ten months of always making the bed, always being on alert that I may have to do a mad crazy cleaning spree if someone calls, and ten months of trusting God with this house which still hasn't sold. Not to mention having almost 5 full months of not having a husband at home each night. Thinking that surely summer would come, and the wait would be over, I now have sunk to some kind of hopelessness about the situation, which is completely unlike me. Praise God that He doesn't let me stay in the hopelessness for long.

I woke up at 4 o'clock AM this morning with that burning desire to be with God. Had I woken up at my normal time, there would have been children begging for breakfast, a bed to be made, and so on. If Skip would have been home, I would have just rolled over and gave him a hug and tried to go back to sleep. Since I was up, I went to my computer and started reading my bible and praying. I knew God was trying to tell me something, but I couldn't find it in my daily reading of my one year bible. I looked at a few of my favorite blogs, and one led me to this story of a sick little girl, and another to this post. They touched my heart so much that I started praying hard for these families. I prayed with tears and emotion. What a trial they are going through right now, but both of the women shocked me with their words of faith and belief. I am usually the one right there along thinking God is in control, and has a plan far greater than my own. Somehow, life has happened, my time is completely not my own, and doubt has taken root.

I stayed awake for about an hour and then turned the tv on to possibly help me drift back to sleep. When I turned it on Joel Osteen was of course on a motivating rampage. Don't you love that about Joel? You can't stay negative or downhearted when he is "preachin it". He was sharing about sticking it out, believing God for good, and not letting negative thinking keep you from your dreams and hopes. That is what I have been doing the past couple of weeks. Not seeing that God has something so wonderful for me right around the corner (and that corner could take months or a year), but it is coming. I have to keep believing! He just whispered to me, "Give it time baby, I'm at work on so much more here that you can imagine. Just trust me, believe me." So many people are praying for us, so many are believing God for us, and I know it will happen. I need to trust God's timing and not my own. I need to take those negative thoughts captive, and remember I have a God who does not run short of miracles.

I am starting over today. I am putting on the full armor of God and believing Him for this sale once again. It doesn't matter that it seems hopeless, God can do anything! I've seen it before more times than I can list, and I will see it happen with my house too. I am not apologizing for asking for prayer again. I need it, and it is okay to ask for the desires of my heart, even if they pale in comparison to other's needs. This is important to our family's well being and future. Please join me in prayer.


Linda said...

Susie, I agree that this is very important for all of you. I will continue to pray for you. We are in much the same situation - but we aren't having to live in separate places while we wait. I know how difficult that is.
I have not given up hope for either of us. I know God is going to bring along a buyer for your house. I just really believe that.
It is completly normal to feel discouraged. Time is insignifigant to the Lord, but for us it is so different. Ten months can seem like an eternity.
You're right - your sweet spirit always comes through your writing, and it does here as well. The Lord is well pleased with your heart attitude. We're just going to keep on believing and praying.

Ruth said...

Susie, I will be praying with you and for you. Isn't God so awesome to let us "start over". What a great rhema word you received and it will be life changing for you! Keep putting on that armor and STAND!!

Penless Thoughts said...

You know I'm joining my heart with you in praying for you Susie. God is never late. Faith is the evidence of things NOT seen. I have been praying for over 35 years for something and haven't seen it yet.......yet I believe!!!

You hit the nail on the head when you said God is doing something so much bigger than just the sale of your house!!!

Laurel Wreath said...

Susie, you and I are in the same boat. I just sign a contract to continue the sale of our has been that long on the market. I feel you pain, and I have to admit sarcastic comments have entered my vocabulary due to my frustration.

In fact it is hitting me because I am not getting all my fall decorations out because it would make the house too cluttered. I have threatened not to put up a tree either, but that stems from my frustration more than anything.

I know God is doing something bigger, it depends on what day you get me. Some days it is "I have left it totally in His hands, and I am fine with that." Other days it is, "well what is the use, I will never have a new house," pity party.

We will hang in there together girl. What I love about blog world is it helps us keep persepective to what is really important. And the sale of my house is low on the list. Sigh..


Tiffany said...

Those time with God at 4am, 5am and 2am... (me). That is when God really gets out attention. I feel he does that to really get close or closer to Him. He is makeing us turn the focus off us and turning it to others. Faith is hard, cause we dont' know the plan. But we have to have faith to know that God has the plan , the map and house. In the mean time , he is growing you and Skip and the kids for something awesome. If anything hold on to that.
Enjoyed coffee with you the other day. We have to do that weekly.

Robin said...

I am still praying for the sale of your home and for God's will most of all!

Hugs and thinking of you. I wish I could call to talk, but my days are a bit harried now. But as soon as I can, I will!!

Andrea said...

This post hit home for me. I read often but don't comment much...just trying to get all my reading in! Our house has been on the market off and on (mostly on) for the past two years. As we struggle to make both mortgage payments every month, I wonder just what God has in mind for us. I know that there is good through all this. Thank you for reminding me that God is working always, in ways we cannot even imagine. I will be praying for your house to sell. Can I please ask for you to pray for us too? FULL armor of God - thanks again for the reminder. :)

Twisting his arm said...

That was beautiful. I am going to put you on my prayer list.

Susanne said...

Continueing to pray for you and your family Susie. Hang in ther with God. He knows the whole of what He wants to accomplish even if we don't.

Lyndy said...

Oh a lesson that we all need to hear...especially me. Thanks for sharing your heart.

Praying for you my friend.

NeeNee said...

Thinking about you today. Your last post was precious. I'm so thankful we serve a loving Lord who let's us start over and over and over! You are blessed!

Jeremiah 29:11


Deidre said...

I just posted on this ... doubt. When we've seen God do miraculous things in our lives, but at times, we still doubt who He is and what He can do.

Hang in there! I know it's frustrating. Perspective does change our attitude. But, remember God cares about what you're going through too.